You dreamed of being a journalist and the dream has come true. You love working for your local paper . . . although not everything is as you imagined.
You embarrass yourself with a range of celebrities, from John Hurt to Jordan. Your best story is ‘The Man With the Pigeon Tattoo’.
A former colleague interviews President Trump. You urinate in the president of the Mothers’ Union’s garden.
Your appearance as a hard-hitting columnist on a BBC talk show does not go well. And being photographed naked is only the second most humiliating thing to happen one infamous afternoon.
There are serious stories, such as a mass shooting, a devastating flood, and the search for Madeleine McCann.
Meanwhile local papers are dying. Your building is crumbling and your readership is dwindling. Your carefully crafted features are read by fewer people than a story about fancy dress for dogs.
Panic as Man Burns Crumpets is the inside story of local newspapers during the past twenty-five years, told in a way that’s funny, poignant and revealing.